ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
