I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
