Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
