there's paper in my vomit.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Randomize
