I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
