I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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