No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
