why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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