So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
