Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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