You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
