i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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