When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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