yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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