should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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