dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
