after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
