Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.

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(912): View more from Georgia

He kissed a someone with a penis

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.

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(530): View more from California

i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something

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(740): View more from Ohio

Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!

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(613): View more from Ontario

who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked

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(936): View more from Texas

You can't call dibs 8 years later.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Isn't your room on the second floor?

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