wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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