But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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