I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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