the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enjoy the penises
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize