Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
