I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At least life still wants to fuck me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
