Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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