yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
