Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize