do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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