Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
