Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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