Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
smell my finger.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize