too bad you live with your parents still
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
