Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
