The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
