if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize