So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
