My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
kristin has been a bad kristin
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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