I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
