you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I am spending my child support on dildos
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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