I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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