so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
