I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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