i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The Olympian is in my bed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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