I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
