i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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