i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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