never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
