If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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