Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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