Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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