I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
