well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
