remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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