let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
