And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
