Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
