Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
