I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
